Collaborator or Competitor?

Have you ever reached out to a colleague for information or assistance, only to receive a brief, vague answer that was more confusing than helpful? In every workplace, there are people who are motivated by being the best, even when no one else realizes they are competing. At first, you might wonder whether they misunderstood your question or whether you did not explain it clearly. Over time, though, you may realize they have no intention of helping and may even give slightly inaccurate information to push you toward failure, all so they can feel more successful by comparison.

A little competition can be fun and motivating, but when it becomes constant and undermining, it can hurt productivity and morale. Some colleagues take competition far beyond what is healthy or productive. You may not even realize you are in a contest, but in their mind, they are pushing to keep winning, regardless of how their behavior affects others. You might think you are brainstorming with the team to find a solution, while the competitive colleague sees it as a personal rejection if their idea is not accepted. When they are seeking applause for great work and do not receive it, they may begin to treat you like an opponent instead of a teammate.

That behavior can be difficult to identify at first, especially when it appears in small moments rather than obvious conflict.

If you think a colleague may be competing with you rather than collaborating with you, look for patterns like these:

• They have to outdo your achievements or updates with their own bigger accomplishments.
• They don’t share information or resources with others.
• They claim your ideas or joint work as their own without giving you any credit.
• They interrupt you, question or criticize your work, or try to discredit your competence.
• They go to your manager if they believe you made an error instead of talking with you directly. 

Overly competitive colleagues can bring down morale and negatively affect the people around them. Sometimes, this behavior may come from insecurity or a need to prove themselves. Over time, you may feel pressured to admit you are wrong just so they can feel right. That kind of constant competition can create stress, burnout, and emotional exhaustion. It can also make communication toxic, which is why choosing collaboration over rivalry is essential for teams that want to do their best work.

How can you encourage others to move away from competition and toward collaboration?

• Treat colleagues as partners and share information openly, even if they continue to act like rivals.
• Prioritize your own well-being by keeping sustainable work habits and not buying into endless upward striving.
• Judge your success by your own progress, not by outdoing someone else.
• Stay professional and gracious by showing respect and giving credit for others’ work.
• Lead by example, stay motivated by your own work, and do not give in to revenge or backstabbing.
• Give credit where credit is due, and do not allow others to claim your achievements as their own.

These choices may seem small, but they help shift the focus from proving yourself to building trust.

Throughout my career and in my life, I’ve seen competitiveness among colleagues, friends, and neighbors. I firmly believe that neither life nor work should be treated as a constant competition. Striving to do your best is healthy when it helps you grow, but if your goal is always to stay ahead of others, you can burn yourself out chasing a competition you created in your own mind. I believe in hard work, setting goals, and doing my best, but the mindset of beating “the competition” and being number one is not a true achievement. There will always be people who have a better job, make more money, or have more things, just as there will always be people with different jobs and less money. What does that prove? Nothing.

Whether you are the competitive colleague or the colleague caught in a contest you did not know you were in, focus on the skills that lead to real success: teamwork, customer service, and time management. Do not turn the workplace into a battlefield by working the longest hours, aggressively chasing the top spot, or competing against your colleagues. That path can lead to burnout, anxiety, and isolation. Instead, help build a supportive environment that benefits everyone. You can still rise by being kind and bringing others with you instead of taking them out; that is what makes success meaningful.

Ask yourself: what does success really mean? Is it constant competition with your colleagues, unrewarded long hours, burnout, anxiety, illness, and sleepless nights? Or is success found in community, meaningful relationships, supporting others, collaborating, making time for your family, and doing your best?